Octavius Pepper

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I think I will take one of the puppies. There's enough parkland nearby to walk him and Mum's more than happy to have a dog. I have no idea what Satan thinks but I don't care.

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Following on from my last entry, I caught Mum calling the cat Satan last night. I think I win the cat-naming battle.

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Did you ever know about the South London Gay Community Centre in Brixton?

Oh, and have you ever contemplated dressing in drag? Proper drag, not just robes.

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I’ve been contemplating renaming Mum’s cat. I think Satan might suit him better.

So. I came home from work yesterday evening to find that my mother had acquired a cat. I say 'acquired' because I'm not sure whether she found it, got it from the RSPCA or bought it from a breeder or somewhere else. She's being evasive, which makes me think she bought it and paid quite a bit of money for it.

Here it is:
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I told her that if she was going to get a cat, couldn't she have at least got one with fur? And perhaps one that was less ugly?

Actually I jest. He does have fur. It's very fine, sort of like soft fuzz. He is ugly though. But warm. Very warm and he likes to cuddle. So, swings and roundabouts really. On one hand, he's ugly; on the other, he's fuzzy, warm and snuggles with you.

She's called him Amenhotep and when he's not shamelessly snuggling up to people, he definitely lives up to his name. We certainly know when the little Pharaoh thinks it's time to eat.

And yes, he has very big ears.

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Anyone free tomorrow? I'm on call but I have the day off otherwise and I need to get out and do something.

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You’d think after all these years of being a potioneer, I’d be used to being on my feet a lot. After last night, all I can says is apparently not. And that makes me sound horribly self-centred. I'm sorry. I hope everyone who was in St Mungos last night is feeling better. I'm also sorry if your potions tasted horrible. Not much we can do about that. As long as they worked. That's the important thing.

Can we have a small discussion about Love Potions in the lead up to Valentine's Day?

Please don't ask for them. If you're asking for one, you obviously didn't pay enough attention in Potions class. Love Potions are very badly named. They do not, will not and cannot make someone love you. Lust after you maybe, be infatuated with you surely but only for the length of time that they are taking the potion and no longer than that. And I don't recommend continually feeding someone a love potion. It's not good for them and it's very dubious both morally, ethically and probably legally as well.

You cannot make someone love you. I'm sorry but it's true. Love comes when it wishes. It works in mysterious ways, in fact. There's not a potion in the world that can alter, induce or change the process.

Given the number of witches and wizards who come into St Mungos after having fallen off their brooms having done something foolish or splinched themselves while apparating or utterly nauseous after using a portkey, I'd be a bit dubious that wizarding forms of transport are any safer or better then any other form of transport.

And given the Knight Bus was perfectly safe before the Death Eaters decided to make it unsafe, I think their argument is a bit of a fallacy. It's like saying that milk curdles because a rooster crows. The milk curdles because you leave it out too long. It has nothing to do with the rooster.

Maybe it's just me but I'm not sure using the phrases "Live a life of excitement", "Immediate openings" and "Extremely good life insurance policy" were really very wise in that advertisement for the Knight Bus. At the very least, it's rather lacking in tact and common decency.

Just my two knuts worth.

Today I was asked by one of the younger midwives whether I would be able to brew up a Love Potion for her. I must have looked like an idiot as I just simply stared at her for I’d say fully five minutes, unable to believe that a sensible person, as a midwife must be, could possibly want something like that. Before I could answer, the girl suddenly burst out laughing and said she’d been dared to ask me that as a result of losing some bet or other she’d had going with some of her friends and she wasn’t serious.

Thank Merlin for that.

I mean, every half decent brewer of potions eventually gets asked for love potions or some other such potion of a dubious nature. Sometimes it can be hard to say no, other times it’s very, very easy. Illegal things? The no is quick and easy. The teenage daughter of a friend asking for a contraceptive potion and a promise to not tell her father what she was asking for? Not quite as quick and easy. On one hand, better that she has some sort of contraception if she’s going to have sex but on the other hand, shouldn’t I, as a friend of her father, be counselling her to wait and not rush into these sorts of things? Or at least telling him or his wife? If I do so, will she simply procure the potion from a more dubious source with no guarantee it’ll work? At least I know my potions will be effective. And frankly, who am I to be telling her what to do with her life? If she’s responsible enough to actually ask for a contraceptive potion then surely she’s not rushing into things and knows what she’s doing. It’s definitely a conundrum.

There's one thing to be said for having to be at work, sober and alert, at 7am on January 1st - it makes your New Year's Eve celebrating fairly sedate. I spent the evening at home with Mum. We had a lovely dinner, watched Big Ben ring in the New Year and the fireworks on the telly, sang Auld Lang Syne, drank a glass of champagne and then went to bed.

It may be a sign I'm getting to be a bit of an old man but I found last night to be much more enjoyable than the nights I went out partying until all hours. I didn't wake up with a hangover. I didn't have to drive the old porcelain bus for hours. I didn't have a raging need for hangover potions (though as a potioneer that's really neither here nor there). Most importantly I didn't wake up beside someone whose name and the circumstances of how we met I don't remember and then have to have that awkward conversation when they wake up. Always a bonus really.

There does seem to be a bit of a run on the hangover potions this morning at the hospital though. Really, people. Don't come to the hospital when all you have is a hangover. If you didn't have the sense to prepare before last night, you deserve to suffer until either you find an apothecary that choose to open on a Sunday, you find a friend who can send you one or you brew one yourself. Though perhaps don't go down that last path if you're hungover otherwise you might end up in St Mungos quite legitimately.

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